1.Buy ads on local television and radio stations declaring your undying love.
2.Show up at your Valentine's workplace in a stretch limousine.
3.Make sure the limo is stocked with champagne, caviar and strawberries.
4.Drive your Valentine past the billboard where you've proclaimed your love for the whole world to see.
5.Drop in at a designer shop or two to pick up appropriate travel and evening togs. Donna Karan and Armani wear well anywhere.
6.Remember you'll need luggage, too. Louis Vuitton matching sets will be perfect.
7.Tell the chauffeur that the airport is the next stop.
8.Take time to offer a bauble - men like Rolex watches, women like jewelry from Tiffany.
9.Call ahead so the hotel concierge can have a limousine waiting at your destination - Mercedes or Rolls-Royce should be specified.
1..Whisper to your Valentine that the penthouse, presidential suite will be carpeted in rose petals.
1..Order room service and dine by candlelight on the suite's patio. Perhaps cauliflower soup with caviar, herb salad, and duck with coriander and orange, with a tarte Tatin with quince for dessert will appeal.
1..Place tickets to the symphony, opera or ballet in the box with the next bauble. Pearls for evening wear are nice for her; he'll prefer carved gold cufflinks.
1..Follow up with drinks and dancing at a trendy cafe.
1..Leave an 11 a.m. wakeup call, followed by breakfast in bed.
1..Make sure the chauffeur has fresh flowers and champagne in the limousine for the return trip to the airport.
1..Order a personal picnic basket to be waiting at your first-class seats. In Paris, ask owner Claude Terrail of the La Tour d'Argent in the Latin Quarter to prepare something special.
1..Top off the perfect getaway by having a having a new car awaiting your Valentine upon arrival home. Men should like the new Corvette. Women will go for a BMW 5 Series Touring Sedan.
Tips: You can often do something wild and unusual for your Valentine without blowing your bank account. Limousine rentals are generally affordable. Fill one with balloons and send it to pick up your Valentine for dinner at a fine restaurant.
Remember to pocket those passports.
Following this script carefully might be hazardous to your credit-card balance.